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What follows is in response to the 100 Word Challenge, authored by the bold and brassy Velvet Verbosity. The word this week is "Forward".
A hot and sunny day. Stifling. Muggy. His woolen uniform jacket 'itched his hide', as he would say. The sweat ran down his back. It ran from under his cap and into his eyes. He stood in line with thirteen thousand other men ranked three deep, under the command of General Pickett. Pickett would get him home, he thought. He could trust Pickett.
He could see Union lines ... up yonder. Must be a thousand yards, he thought.
That looks like a lot of ground to cover.
He sweated.
He itched.
He listened.
The last clear word he heard was "Forward!!"
Ndinombethe.
(As I go, I am wearing you.)
11 comments:
This piece was wonderful. You created a very intense scene.
I hope his story being told means he survived the order.
Well done! Memories of being on a C-141 headed for Panama came back to mind...
Wonderful!!
I loved it!
what a miserable experience: sweat dripping, heat, itchy clothes. And then you have to RUN and go kill people and try not to be killed.
I love this period of American history, great piece
visiting from 100 words
Really good. I liked this a lot. I could feel the itch and the heat.
And my guess is that he never did make it home - or if he did, he would never be the same. Very evocative - thank you.
Powerful! I really like this piece. If I could offer one piece of critique (only because this is so nearly perfect), I found the "as he would say" distracting with respect to point-of-view. Seriously, this submission rocks.
Love! I don't know why I've always been interested in the Civil War, but I am. So this was instantly a hit with me. I really like how this was written :)
Very precise and compact. Well done!
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