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12/12/2008

On a note of sadness

I had thought to do a Haiku. But artificial constructs put too much limit on the expression of ideas. And it would seem so artificial. And I don't want this to be artificial. It is not to be taken lightly. There is a sad happenstance to speak to here, and it deserves proper attention and respect.

Lotus' baby is gone. There was no heartbeat at the Doctor's visit. He made it 11 weeks and 4 days. A second failed pregnancy. There is no consolation I can offer. There are no words I can utter that will soften her pain right now - but I am so saddened by what I know of what she feels.

Those of us who have lost children know a special kind of pain. As a man, the pain I felt when we lost ours is but a pale shadow of what Annie went through, what Annie goes through. But having lived with Annie's pain, I know what Lotus feels right now. Again. A second consecutive time. This kind of thing reaches right down into a woman's soul and rips out great painful chunks that never, ever, heal.

Do you wonder why I love the strength and courage of women? Look at them. They bear children. And having done it once, they go back and do it again. They sometimes lose children. And having lost a child, they'll try again. And again. And again. Always aware of the pain that's coming - one way or the other. The pain of loss or the pain of birth. And always looking past the pain to what they're hoping for in the end. A child.

The thing that amazes me most is that Lotus most likely will try again. There is no quit in that woman. She will swallow her pain, she will live with the worry and concern, and she will try again. And the most amazing thing to me, as a man, is that she is typical of 'woman'. Typical. As in 'not unusual'.

I am so truly heartbroken for Lotus and her pain. No one should ever have to endure that kind of pain, and she has done so more than once. That she will one day be willing to risk the same pain, for a greater pain and a better result, demonstrates more courage than I could ever muster.

No last paragraph, today.

Pray. For Lotus and her baby.

17 comments:

Michael said...

Luke was born 3 months prem and it was an awful time for me and the Ice Queen seeing this tiny little thing in a incubator.
It was really touch and go if he would survive but survive he did, sometimes these things are just down to God
My prayers are with Lotus.

Christy said...

Bless them.

I hope she has a circle of wise women around her to cry with--like the old village elders.

Maybe in blogland, we can help, sorta?

I know she probably appreciates your kind words, Lou....

Jientje said...

She is an amazingly strong woman, she is. But strong women hurt too, and this is the worst kind of hurt any woman can endure. My thoughts and prayers are with her and the baby.

Employee No. 3699 said...

That is so sad. My thoughts are with her.

Joyce-Anne said...

I don't always read Lotus' blog, but I know she is a very strong woman. I am going to click over and offer some support. I, too, had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. It's a hard time and I pray that she will find the courage to try again and successfully carry a baby to full term.

Loraine said...

One of my closest friends lost a son a few years ago. It's hard to find the right words when the subject comes up- I just try to be there for her when she's having a bad day. She is a very strong woman, she has survived, and she has five beautiful children.

Ree said...

Of course.

maggie's mind said...

Just sadness. I can only sort of imagine. My loss was different and without the option to try again only to experience more heartbreak. That I cannot begin to imagine, and my heart hurts so much for Lotus and family.

Momisodes said...

I just found out this morning over at her blog. My heart breaks for her and family. She truly is amazing in. Especially with all she's been through this past year. Her and her baby are in my thoughts and prayers.

Nicole said...

I have no words for that - I'm so sorry :(

Hyphen Mama said...

That is so heartbreaking. Your words are better than any I've got.

Myst_72 said...

There just isn't an explanation or reason that comforts at all for situations like this - it's just so, so sad.

G
xx

Zoeyjane said...

She'll be okay. It will just take some time and some jokes and lots of tears and, you know, the decision to be okay. Maybe some Me time, too - it's kind of hard to get to move on, when you're stumbling over the present all the time, right?

Shadow said...

i don't know what to say. it's so sad. i can't imagine... i don't want to imagine... thank you god for my bean!

M+B said...

My heart is breaking for her. I know that pain, and that anyone ever has to go through that distresses me immensely.

Lady Language said...

It was kind of you to post this - I will go send her some love. It is a terrible thing and many women go through it - I did with my first child, but time does heal and Lotus is a strong women -- she'll be okay.

queenlint1 said...

Oh, Lou!

What a soul and heart you have, lovey! It's considered atypical for a man to feel and understand a woman's pain. But you, old soul, have grokked all of it!

Blessed are you among men!
D