I think I owe Velvet Verbosity an apology, or at least an explanation.

I read her post about pornography. I was taken aback, a bit. I wasn't ready for what I saw and read - blogging and posting, for me, up until that point in time, had never taken a serious edge. I don't know why I hadn't considered the potential to discuss a serious subject in a blog, but there it was. I wasn't ready. And I reacted poorly. Instead of applauding her reasoning and being totally supportive, I called her 'vociferous'. I apologize.

As a man, I can't make the same connection to my children that my wife can. She bore them. They grew inside of her - they are an integral part of her. And for the same reason, I (and men, in general) can't make the same connection about pornography that a woman can. Pornography exploits those things that make a woman a woman - and men don't understand those things like women do.

I find most pornography to be revolting. I cannot find it in me to degrade women (I love them WAY too much - just ask my wife) and I am saddened to realize that there are those that would. And it is, after all, men that dominate the porn industry - produced by men for men. So it is men, for the most part, that degrade women. But not all of us.

I could go on and on about the reasons that porn might exist. About society and puritanism and values and all that stuff. But I suspect pornography has existed since men and women started clothing their naked bodies. Be that as it may, allow me to add my voice to the throng that would see porn go away.

Velvet V - you go girl. Give 'em hell. I'm right there with you - at least, as much as I can be.


VelVerb said...

No apology necessary. Though I do appreciate that you see I am not just being vociferous, and that I am instead speaking from the heart on matters that many people are either too afraid to talk about, or talk about from radical positions.

In fact, one thing I'm avoiding directly is the discussion that "men" are the users and producers of pornography because I don't want to get locked into the feminist anti-porn activists who hate men and blame everything on "the patriarchy". While I believe this is somewhat true, I don't think it serves us well to harp on it. Besides, I think men are hurt just as much, but in different ways. (Not by the casual look once in a while, but by daily use.)

Sandy C. said...

Wow..I had to go and peek at V.V's post. Very well said and laid out. She makes a great point and so do you. I could never make the same connecting with porn as men do (although I've never REALLY seen "porn." Honest. I know, I'm the last person on Earth).

I applaud you for your honesty and ability to reassess and rectify.