I need to put a lock on the bathroom door. One that only I have the key to.
Because that way I can guarantee access to the facilities when necessary. Testing one's sphincters is not what one wants to do when one is not feeling well. Sphincter testing should be done, occasionally - but when one is well and there is no sense of urgency to contend with.
Too many times, yesterday, it turned into a contest between my sphincter and my son's ability to recognize and react to an emergency situation.
Fortunately, I won. All those man Kegels I do have, apparently, paid off.