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8/18/2012

Experiment


Yesterday, I saw for the first time, a poetic form called "Huitain".  My sweet friend Patti (she is my Sister, in my heart) published a poem using this form - eight lines of 8 to 10 syllables, using a rhyming scheme of a-b-a-b-b-c-b-c. I have decided to experiment in Huitain and the result is below.  I hope you like it.



We were off to vacationland,
Warm and lovely Daytona Beach,
We reveled in the waves and sand,
But the Ocean had a lesson to teach,
Hurt comes quick, help beyond your reach,
And the Ocean is deep and strong,
You must heed this, as I beseech.
Beware the Ocean's siren song.



Ndinomebthe.

4 comments:

Big Mark 243 said...

I think you should have left that on the beach as a warning to other beach goers. This reminds me of the legendary rhymes that are used as warnings to those who would dare to aspire to other-worldly power and aspirations.

PattiKen said...

Bravo, Bro! I knew you could master it, and a wonderful job you did of it too!

PurpleMoose said...

Well done! My daughter used to dabble in different forms of poetic license. I think I recall attempting this one.

And, re the ocean's siren song . . . ahhhhh yes, indeedy. Glad you broke free enough to come back home. Beware, though . . . if she is truly in your heart you will go back. :)

Tara R. said...

Maybe you could mix up Fridays a little, and we can try new poetry forms.