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What follows is offered in response to Velvet Verbosity's 100 Word Challenge. The challenge, this week, is "Road Trip". I offer ths little bit of melancholy ...
We ain't never had a car, before, Mister.
Well, what do you plan to do with her?
I have a young 'un with a hankerin'. He wants to see California.
California? I don't know if this old Jenny will make it all the way to California. You sure about this?
I ain't sure 'bout nuthin'. But this car'll make it. If I have to push it, it'll make it. I can't buy nuthin' better.
I don't understand.
The boy's dyin'. I cain't help him. But I kin give him this. If he don' make it ... well ... it's "the journey" ... right?
Ndinombethe.
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9 comments:
You are right... this was melancholy... and it all hit in the last line... good writing... pulled me in and then dropped an unexpected plot change that affected the way I interpreted the entire piece...
Oh, so bittersweet. I hope they made it to California. Your dialect dialog flows so well, and is very believable.
Oh, sad one. You could take this farther into the story.
Oh yes, it is the JOURNEY that matters. Go the distance! A great take on the prompt and I love LOVE your accents. LOL
hugs
shakira
Nice. Great tone. :-) I found the formatting a bit confusing though: is there some reason the buyer is in plain text and the seller is emboldened? I usually save stuff like that for when the method of communication is unusual, like telepathy or something.
Thats going to be an amazing journey. How bittersweet!
journey of a lifetime :) Nicely done
What a great kernel to start a larger story. Those are the best kinds of prompts! Nice job.
beautiful - and I love the term "jenny" for a car. Just one step up from a jenny mule.
sweet piece, Lou
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