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What follows is in response to the 100 Word Challenge, authored by the immensely aware Velvet Verbosity. The word this week is "Unconscious".
She knelt in the pool of light at the foot of the altar in the small, dark chapel of the hospital. Her eyes closed in prayer, her knees almost bloody from having knelt so long, she prayed for her lover. The accident had left him unconscious. For three days now.
"Oh, Dio Mio, por favore, por favore."
Tears rolled down her cheeks. Despair filled her heart. But she prayed.
"Oh, Dio Mio, por favore, por favore."
She did not hear the nurse. A hand touched her shoulder.
Afraid, she turned to look.
She saw a smile.
"Come child. He wakes."
Ndinommbethe.
12 comments:
You can feel her desperation. Well done!
This is beautifully written:-)
You took me in, bought my heart - love this.
My breath caught when the nurse touched her. Having her dialog in Spanish gives this a more desperate feeling. Wonderfully crafted piece.
The Spanish gave the episode a realism that made me feel as if I was there in the room as she heard the news.
Nicely done. Made me shed a tear.
Answered prayer, yay!
I didn't know you know Italian.
I love that ending so much.
Always love the happy endings :)
Wonderful. I was so nervous when the nurse came in. The Spanish is what really makes this piece great, though.
Very, very nice.
Would that all vigils ended happily. Nicely done, Lou.
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