100 Word Challenge - Unconscious

What follows is in response to the 100 Word Challenge, authored by the immensely aware Velvet Verbosity. The word this week is "Unconscious".

100 Word Challenge

The Vigil

She knelt in the pool of light at the foot of the altar in the small, dark chapel of the hospital. Her eyes closed in prayer, her knees almost bloody from having knelt so long, she prayed for her lover. The accident had left him unconscious. For three days now.

"Oh, Dio Mio, por favore, por favore."

Tears rolled down her cheeks. Despair filled her heart. But she prayed.

"Oh, Dio Mio, por favore, por favore."

She did not hear the nurse. A hand touched her shoulder.

Afraid, she turned to look.

She saw a smile.

"Come child. He wakes."



Mama Zen said...

You can feel her desperation. Well done!

upinthecosmos said...

This is beautifully written:-)

barbara said...

You took me in, bought my heart - love this.

Tara R. said...

My breath caught when the nurse touched her. Having her dialog in Spanish gives this a more desperate feeling. Wonderfully crafted piece.

Big Mark 243 said...

The Spanish gave the episode a realism that made me feel as if I was there in the room as she heard the news.

R.L.W. said...

Nicely done. Made me shed a tear.

Holly said...

Answered prayer, yay!

I didn't know you know Italian.

Life with Kaishon said...

I love that ending so much.

Carrie said...

Always love the happy endings :)

Lazidaisical said...

Wonderful. I was so nervous when the nurse came in. The Spanish is what really makes this piece great, though.

Simply Wren said...

Very, very nice.

PattiKen said...

Would that all vigils ended happily. Nicely done, Lou.