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4/07/2011

100 Word Challenge - Broken


What follows is in response to the 100 Word Challenge, authored by the sturdy Velvet Verbosity. The word this week is "Broken".

100 Word Challenge


BROKEN


At first glance, he looks rather normal.

He's tall and lean, dressed in clean but well worn jeans and a light blue shirt, open at the collar. He leans on the bar and his fingers encircle his glass, but he does not drink. He just stares into the glass, instead.

His face is pleasant, handsome, even. His blondish hair is long and he has a cowlick that women find endearing.

Everything about him just looks normal. Until you look into his eyes. When you look into his eyes, you can see his pain - you can see that he is broken.


Ndinombethe.

11 comments:

Kim - Mommycosm said...

This would be a great opening to a short story. I want more;)

Grandmother said...

Oh, I want to hear his story. My heart already goes out to him.

barbara said...

so much angst - and I wanna know more - in just 100 words. Nicely done.

Tara R. said...

In these few words you've created an endearing, yet tragic character. Nicely done.

rhymereasonandreality said...

Okay, Lou, I'll try to continue mine next time if you do the same!!

Holly said...

The eyes don't lie....

Jientje said...

I could just picture this, very well done!

Debra Ann Elliott said...

Beatiful words. I also found this challenge today.

PattiKen said...

I'm glad to see that you plan to continue this. It was a very intriguing beginning. (And present tense, too. Jeff would be pleased.)

clew said...

I too am already intrigued with this bittersweet fellow. I do hope you decide to build on this. Really nice character description!

Velvet Verbosity said...

I've met my share of people like that. All looks well on the outside, but something's not right on the inside.

Sad.