She escapes me ....

Sarah eludes me, lately. It seems as though we have reached some point - some climax - some place in the narrative at which the story wants to finally get down to business - as if all that has gone before is but prelude to some momentous moment in time which I am now obligated to suss out and relate to the page.

The mood must change - my crutch - my music - needs to change. I will know what it is when I find it - and when I find it it will take me to her and she will tell me what it is she wants me to say - what part, it is, of her story she's been holding back - that she's been hiding from me.

This is so frustrating. I KNOW where this story has to go and yet she wants to guide me there - as if I have no control over this life that I, in fact, imparted to her. I am writing this story - and yet I am not. She is. She tells me her story - she goes where she wants and does what she wants and I can but report and write and give her her head.

I ask your indulgence. Your patience. again.

I have to find the thread, and pick it up and follow it. Again.



Jientje said...

Take your time. Enjoy your weekend!

Grandmother said...

I remember reading Natalie Goldberg (Writing Down The Bones; Wild Mind) say the same thing. She cried when one of her character's friends died and said she hadn't known that she was going to die before her character told her.

Indigo said...

Characters definately have attitude. Take it from me, don't force her, let her decide when and how she wants to tell the rest. I'm in the middle of revisions now and damn if my character isn't smacking me upside the head and demanding more - and she'll get it. (Hugs)Indigo

PattiKen said...

These are the words of a true writer, my friend. Sarah will tell you when she's ready. So hush up and listen.