Music is such a funny thing for me. Funny as in strange. Yeah. Strange.
I don't understand music. I don't listen to Brahms or Mahler and understand anything about what the composer was trying to say. I know there are people who do. Understand, that is. People who can go to where the composer wanted to take them - who can see and visualize what the composer had in mind for the piece. I am not one of them.
Don't get me wrong. I love music. I enjoy music. I can recognize GOOD and GREAT music for what it is, and sometimes, just sometimes, mind you, music raises an emotion in me. La Traviatta. Beethoven's 7th. Ode to Joy - his 9th.
But most of the time, the music that reaches deepest into me, is instrumental ... and it is melancholy. I wonder why that is.
On the other hand, (and this - as someone who paints, and enjoys painting) I don't 'understand' most Art. Especially abstract or 'modern' Art. I don't see it. I don't feel it. I don't understand it. Jackson Pollack may appeal to some people, but to me? He just poured paint. Whatever emotion he was trying to express is completely lost on me.
I think this inability to understand Art, and the inability to empathize with the composer of music, are related. It's some 'lack' in the way my brain works. My wiring is 'off' in some minuscule way and it translates to those flaws in my makeup.
The inspiration for this moment of introspection is "Tally's Lullaby", an instrumental piece by Karen Marie Garrett. Some music, like this piece, melancholy and soft, wakes my Muse - it touches whatever it is I need to get to to be able to write - really and truly write. Almost every bit of "Sarah" (you DO know who Sarah is, right?) has been written to a piece by Enya called "Boudicea". Most of "Gwalchmei" (One Knight's Story) has been written to Loreena McKennitt's album "An Ancient Muse" - 'Kecharitomene', 'The Gates Of Istanbul', 'Sacred Shabbat' and 'Beneath a Phrygian Sky' - not so much melancholy, as speaking to an ancient time and culture with which, for some reason, I seem to feel some kinship.
Music touches me. Moves me. Makes me FEEL. But I don't understand it.
I wish I knew why.