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7/08/2010

100 Word Challenge - Normal

What follows is in response to the 100 Word Challenge, usually authored by the unique Velvet Verbosity, but temporarily authored and hosted by me. The Word this week is "Normal".

Patient Normal

She stood alone in the middle of the empty room, head lolling to one side, a blank and vacuous look on her face. She stood perfectly still.

The Doctor observed her through the viewing port in the door. The nurse stood at his side, ready to write his observations on the chart - a chart grown thick with the observations of many years of viewing through the port - for she was beyond reach, wherever she was - beyond any voice which might try to penetrate her world.

"Ready, Nurse? The patient is static and unresponsive. There is no voluntary movement. Patient normal."

8 comments:

Big Mark 243 said...

As the doctor turned to leave the room, almost dismissive of the woman standing, her head stopped it rolling back and forth and there was sharpness in her eyes. Both occurrences were new.

Overhead, the lights flickered and went out...

PattiKen said...

Very well written story, Lou. It sounds very personal, as if it has come from the dark place that one's mind insists on visiting in the dead of night. Beat back the demons, my friend. This will not happen.

Teresa O said...

Painfully succinct, but I want to know more. Job well done.

AuroraLee said...

A very interesting story. Sad. I too want to know more about this story!

Great job!

There seems to be a theme this week with the challenge... I find it very interesting when that happens. :)

Joyce-Anne said...

You really are able to set a scene so nicely and draw me in as if I'm there too. I love all of the 100 word challenges you write, but this one speaks volumes. Maybe it's due to the fact, I've become more aware of the mental illness that people deal with daily.

LceeL said...

Big Mark 243: You and me, man. We ought to do a story together.

Teresa O: Thank you, Teresa. The idea here was to point out that 'normal' changes - based on circumstance.

Aurora-Lee: Me too. Great minds seem to run together.

Joyce-Anne: I am so glad you enjoy these - I SO enjoy writing them.

LceeL said...

PattiKen: You are so in tune with me, sometimes - it gets a bit scary. But this time - no. It's strictly an invention - there is no 'personal' behind this one, at all.

PattiKen said...

I'm very happy to be wrong, my friend. And look here, if my reaction isn't testimony to how well you wrote that, I don't know what is.

As volunteer host, you (being ever the gentleman) would never nominate yourself as winner. No gentleman I, nor host of anything, I hereby nominate you. Patient Normal wins in my book.