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The rain dripped off his down pointed sword, as he stood, rock still and silent, straining to hear the telltale footfall of his enemy. The gentle hiss of the rain, as it fell to the pebbled forecourt of the ruined church, only served to smother the sounds he hoped to hear, needed to hear. He had stripped the chained mail from his head and it lay across the top of his back like a hood. He breathed slow and measured breaths through his mouth, so as to make no sound. He stood at the ready, his enemy by darkness hidden.
Ndinombethe.
18 comments:
I like it. Makes me kinda shivery. What an excellent writer you are!
tense with anticipation...
... holding my breath ...
Your imagery is wonderful! I was holding my breath too.
I've been reading King Arthur and the knights of the round table to my grandson. This put me back in that far away world. You painted a whole world in so few words- remarkable!
This is quite suspenseful. It reminds me of the kind a story that you would expect from a hardened warrior.
Hey, never mind the rain. How will he ever hear his enemy over the pounding of my heart? Great job building suspense!
More! More!
What a great scene set up you have here.
Very intense and filled with anticipation.
Ooh! I hope he got him.
Do you know I just watched Braveheart again last night and this took me back to it!
What a fantastic scene. I love the anticipation and intensity.
Julie: Thank you, Ma'am.
Shadow: As I intended ...
Jientje: Good. That's what I wanted.
Tara R: Thank you, Ma'am.
Grandmother: Thank you - and welcome home.
Big Mark 243: Former Warrior. And never hardened.
PattiKen: Thank you, Patti.
Coal Miner's GD: I'll get back to Gwalchmei, I promise.
Momisodes: Thank you, Sandy.
Tuli: He always does.
Cat: Oh, excellent!!
Joyce-Anne: Thank you, Joyce-Anne. I'm so glad you liked it.
Great suspense!
I really like this.
You are wonderful with words!
Have a great weekend.
hugs
shakira
Left me holding my breath and looking around to see what lurks behind my chair...
Well done!
Wonderful! This left me wanting to read more. (Hugs)Indigo
Yesiree, I was holding my breathe, too!
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