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3/04/2010

100 Word Challenge - Hidden

What follows is in response to the 100 Word Challenge authored by the extroverted Velvet Verbosity. The word this week is "Hidden".

100 Word Challenge


By Darkness Hidden


The rain dripped off his down pointed sword, as he stood, rock still and silent, straining to hear the telltale footfall of his enemy. The gentle hiss of the rain, as it fell to the pebbled forecourt of the ruined church, only served to smother the sounds he hoped to hear, needed to hear. He had stripped the chained mail from his head and it lay across the top of his back like a hood. He breathed slow and measured breaths through his mouth, so as to make no sound. He stood at the ready, his enemy by darkness hidden.

Ndinombethe.

18 comments:

有的煤的 said...
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Julie said...

I like it. Makes me kinda shivery. What an excellent writer you are!

Shadow said...

tense with anticipation...

Jientje said...

... holding my breath ...

Tara R. said...

Your imagery is wonderful! I was holding my breath too.

Grandmother said...

I've been reading King Arthur and the knights of the round table to my grandson. This put me back in that far away world. You painted a whole world in so few words- remarkable!

Big Mark 243 said...

This is quite suspenseful. It reminds me of the kind a story that you would expect from a hardened warrior.

PattiKen said...

Hey, never mind the rain. How will he ever hear his enemy over the pounding of my heart? Great job building suspense!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

More! More!

Momisodes said...

What a great scene set up you have here.

Very intense and filled with anticipation.

Tuli said...

Ooh! I hope he got him.

Cat said...

Do you know I just watched Braveheart again last night and this took me back to it!

Joyce-Anne said...

What a fantastic scene. I love the anticipation and intensity.

LceeL said...

Julie: Thank you, Ma'am.

Shadow: As I intended ...

Jientje: Good. That's what I wanted.

Tara R: Thank you, Ma'am.

Grandmother: Thank you - and welcome home.

Big Mark 243: Former Warrior. And never hardened.

PattiKen: Thank you, Patti.

Coal Miner's GD: I'll get back to Gwalchmei, I promise.

Momisodes: Thank you, Sandy.

Tuli: He always does.

Cat: Oh, excellent!!

Joyce-Anne: Thank you, Joyce-Anne. I'm so glad you liked it.

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

Great suspense!
I really like this.
You are wonderful with words!

Have a great weekend.

hugs
shakira

Titanium said...

Left me holding my breath and looking around to see what lurks behind my chair...

Well done!

Indigo said...

Wonderful! This left me wanting to read more. (Hugs)Indigo

Hyphen Mama said...

Yesiree, I was holding my breathe, too!