Gym Time, Part Deux

I joined the gym on Sunday. The head Personal Trainer doesn't work on Sunday, so I didn't get to meet her until last evening (one has to establish current weight, body fat percentage, goals, etc). When I got to the gym, at 4:30, I changed into my athletic shorts (wearing tighty whities under, for safety), tee shirt and gym shoes, thinking that I would be on the treadmill and the weight machines - relatively unnoticed by the population at large. Ha!

She took down all my information on my information sheet, put it in my own, personal folder, and dutiful gorgeous young woman that she is, she decided to show me all these OTHER things I COULD do to maximize my effectiveness with my time at the gym. All of which needed to take place in this large open area where they have the mats and pilates balls. Because that's what she had me using - the mats and the pilates balls.

And there are mirrors EVERYWHERE.

You know the kind of shorts that feel like they're made of thin umbrella material? You should never, EVER wear those things when you have to flop around on the floor, and on the pilates balls, or just generally right out there in front of the Goddess and everybody.

Now I know what it feels like when a woman has to constantly tug at the hem of a wayward skirt that just constantly seems to head north.

To paraphrase the ever lovely William Bendix, what a revoltin' development THAT was.

Sweatpants with seams intact ONLY, from now on.




Zoeyjane said...

Oh, but that stability ball with do wonders. Get one for the home. Your wife will thank me, if you're the creative type I think you are. ;)

Jientje said...

Snort. Giggles!

moneythoughts said...

Good Luck!

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

Oy! Too funny!

But, good for you for hitting the gym!

Mrs F with 4 said...

Oh Lou, nooooooooooooooooo!

(picture me wiping porridge off my mac screen)

Are you going back?!

Hey, I had a thought (rare, but it happens). Take your camera?

LceeL said...

Zoeyjane: My mind is already running in that direction. Ahem.

Jientje: Dang? Dong. Dang dong. Dang!

Moneythoughts: Thank you, Fred.

Ashlie: Oy? But thank you - I feel good about the IDEA, at this point - not so much about my performance, though. So far.

Mrs F with 4: Yes, I'm going back. And when I do, i will be sure to be covered from 'nose to toes', so to speak. So a camera will do no good for you thrillseekers.

Cat said...

How was the work out?!

M+B said...

Time for some spunky bike shorts then *evil sniggly laughter*

NicoleB said...

I'm glad that at least one man now knows the annoying feeling of things creeping up north ;)

Employee No. 3699 said...

Haven't commented here in ages...sorry. My In-Laws that live near you just joined a gym, I wonder if it's the same one.

OHmommy said...

oh, lou.

from sweat pants to short shorts, lol. will there be a part three? i am encouraging you to keep up your gym membership for more awesome blog material. ;)

Joyce-Anne said...

Sweats from now on, k?

Bama Cheryl said...

I can just imagine how you'd feel through all this. You'll be svelte and pumping iron in no time!

Momisodes said...

Oh man. I am not a fan of the mirror walls. I felt all awkward just reading about this.

At least it makes for good blog fodder :)

hockeychic said...

I felt bad for you and enjoyed it as a funny story at the same time. At least you are at the gym which is great!

Mrs F with 4 said...

Oh, do take pity on us (well, me, I hit 40 last weekend, I NEED cheering up!), take a camera, and perhaps wear one of those shiny lycra all in ones, like swimmers wear?

Jientje said...

I'm dying here! Still giggling!!
Part three? Can't wait!! night night!

Loraine said...

LOL I remember my pilates class. "Flopping around on the floor" is very much an adequate description.

Ree said...

Wear the shorts to dinner next weeek, eh?

LceeL said...

Cat: The workout, BTW, was excellent.

M+B: O.M.G. You are SO evil!

NicoleB: Annoying - for me and I'm sure - anyone who happened to be looking.

Employee: As it turns out - no. Different gym.

OHmommy: I will be covered from nose to toes from now on.

Joyce-Anne: Yes, ma'am. from now on.

Bama Cheryl: It's just that getting there is so ... ugly.

Momisodes: But at least you're gorgeous. People will WANT to look at YOU.

Hockeychic: Yes. I am determined to do this.

Mrs F with 4: Only if you provide sunglasses for everybody at the gym.

Jientje: Part three, I hope, will be NORMAL.

Ree: You do realize, of course, that this is a serious temptation, right?

Trannyhead said...

I hate those workout shorts. I hate women's workout gear in general. I think I need to just start buying man knit shorts for myself.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Oh God how that made me laugh.

But I am sure you didn't look half as bad as you make out.

So you getting buff? Pictures or it didn't happen ;)

LceeL said...

Trannyhead: ANYTHING you want to wear is fine, fine, FINE, with me.

Kelley: I will post a picture on May 1st - before and after. Then June 1st and July 1st. For comparison purposes only.

Hyphen Mama said...

HAHAHAHA.... and no pictures?

I'm disappointed.

Now zoeyjane has me surfing online for the stability ball!!!

witchypoo said...

Lou, meet Warrior Woman. WW, meet Lou.

LceeL said...

Hyphen Mama: Just use your imagination.

Witchypoo: Not yet. Not yet.

Emily/Randomability said...

Umbros? Hubby wears umbros.