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8/10/2008

My Last Illusion

Today, while cruising the blogoshpere, looking through the people I read for posts I might have missed, I ran across a post the blew away the last of my illusions. I can now well and truly say, "I am a man."

Of course, some illusions are more closely held and more dear than others. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were illusions that died young. And hard. The Tooth Fairy lasted longer, but she eventually bit the dust, as well. It was somewhat disheartening when Annie told me that I, me, Daddy, had to put the money under the pillow when #1 son lost his first tooth. I was 43. I felt violated. I thought that that was the last of my illusions that was going to die, because, truthfully, I didn't think I was operating under any more illusions. But today. Today I lost another one and I didn't even know I had one. But I did. And now it's gone.

Today I found out that women pee in the shower.

Yes, yes it's true. And I thought only men did that. The whole 'running water' thing, you know?

So I am no longer deluded. I will be more careful the next time I share the shower with someone of the opposite gender. Except for SWMBO. She swears she doesn't do that. Maybe that's why I still suffered that delusion. Because she supported me in my illusion. And maybe that's something that wives are supposed to do. Ya think?

25 comments:

Eric S. said...

OMG, I don't know what to tell ya. ROFL!

Kelley said...

Bwaaaaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa! That cracked me up!

Dude, you are too cute for words, you know that?

Oh, and another thing, a lot of chicks read in the loo too. Just so you know.

Elizabeth said...

This can't possibly be the last illusion. There's so many more I could share... but wont. ;)

witchypoo said...

I don't know why you have this illusion, but I suspect not all women pee in the shower. I prefer a bath, and that would be disgusting.

warriorwoman said...

Lou, you don't disappoint.
That was funny.
Now, how about telling us how your last illusion got shattered.
This holds my interest.
I wonder who you could be sharing your shower with, if it isn't Mrs Lou.
Oh yeah - I'm THAT nosy.

moneythoughts said...

Glad to see you are feeling better. Save water, shower with a friend?

Tash said...

hahaha - too funny!

we tend to pee on each other here... Okay that's not quite accurate - we pee on each other when someone is stung by a jelly fish. It neutralizes the sting! Seriously!

LceeL said...

eirc s: Just be careful when you're not showering alone. I'm just sayin'.

kelley: I knew that. Annie takes the Kohl's flyer in there with her all the time.

elizabeth: More? More illusions?
Methinks NOT.

witchypoo: Annie and I used to bathe together. Yes, take a bath. But she started making bubbles in the water (AND thought it was funny) so we started taking showers. Another illusion shot in the ass, so to speak. Before that I NEVER knew women farted. And they used to blame the dog.

warriorwoman: Well ... you, if you'll let me.

moneythoughts: Absolutely. What are friends for?

tash: OMG. OMG OMG. I will behave myself, I will behave myself, I WILL behave myself ....

Rebecca said...

I've never peed in the shower. Just sayin'. :)

Hyphen Mama said...

And THIS is why Mr Hyphen and I do NOT share a bathroom. There are things that men and women, no matter how in love or how many children they've created together, should NOT share together. I don't want to know what men do in the shower or anywhere in the bathroom. I don't think he should know what I do in the shower and why I always insist there is a shower massager installed.

Just sayin'.

warriorwoman said...

Lou, I am such an doughhead. I just figured out where the shower comment came from.

You run the shower and I'll bring the duck.

I AM SUCH A DOUGHHEAD!

Shadow said...

oh the things you think of. delightful!!! relating the subject at hand.... no comment!

Emily/Randomability said...

Shower pee-er here too, unless I'm showering with someone else (hubby or giving Baby Girl a shower).

When I was pregnant, I went pee before I got in, and inevitably I'd pee after I got inthe shower too.

Nicole said...

The older I get the harder it gets....
even when I pee before taking a shower.
Oh well.....
Glad it wasn't my blog where you got your illusions shattered :P

Employee No. 3699 said...

Hey, I admitted that on my July 21st post. Like George Costanza said, it all ends up in the same place!

maggies mind said...

I'd love to comment, but it's maybe best if I do not comment. ;)

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

Well, at least you recognize that women do pee. Some men try to pretend we don't pee.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I'm sorry I upset you. This was me, right?

Alice said...

ROFL! Oh Lou...

I'll shamefully admit that sometimes I'm guilty, BUT I would NOT do it if I was showering with someone else.

Tara R. said...

Maybe wives have a pact to 'say' that doesn't happen, when in actuality it is a very common pratice. Just speculating.

mde art said...

LOL! Thanks for the insight! This will be easier to remember than forget. :)

~Michael

Lady Language said...

I don't pee in the shower
lake, river...yes...never
in the shower!

Eve Grey said...

Aslong as no-one pees in the pool! eeewwww. I'm a priss about bodily functions I must say.

LceeL said...

It's Wednesday, now. And many people have commented here since the last time I responded. I see all of these - they come to me in email. Just so you know.

Ash said...

So, um. *I* don't pee in the shower.