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7/10/2008

100 Word Challenge - City

What follows is in response to the 100 Word Challenge, authored by the cosmopolitan Velvet Verbosity. There is an outside chance that this particular challenge, which was issued on Tuesday, influenced the subject matter of yesterday's post - but not the Tuesday post. Spooky, huh? Anyway, without further ado ....

He walked into the cool dark of the corner bar, a refugee from the sapping heat and the Sun.
"What'll ya have?"
"Bud."
"Two Fifty"
He closed his eyes and let the cold beer wash down his throat.
"You out lookin'?"
"Yeah. Been poundin' the pavement for weeks. It's brutal."
"Want another?"
"Yeah."
"Hot out there, huh?"
"Shit ya! 'Specially when you're out in it all day. Last few days I've been in every store, factory and office building within ten blocks of here. I'm done."
"Nah, don't say that. You'll find somethin'. Just keep lookin'. It's a big city."

I love these 100 Word Challenges. They make me think. They make me work and craft a piece. Each word becomes crucial. You refine. You reword. You try to say as much as you can with those few words. You try to make that which is unsaid as obvious as possible. Like I said. Lots of fun.

My friend Francis died this last Monday. Do me a favor. If you're a guy, get a prostate exam. If you're a girl, get a mammogram and a pap smear. 'Cause I love you guys. I'm just sayin'.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love it. I still don't have the pajungas to do it though...well done you.

I mirror your sentiments on testing too. I'm sorry for your loss, my friend.

Anonymous said...

Loved this! On many levels. And sometimes even a big enough city isn't big enough, so you have to find another, and that one works out beautifully, even if it requires sacrifice. Anyway, yep, that spoke to me and was nice to read.

I feel about Haiku Friday similar to how you do about this, and it makes it challenging and fun.

Very sorry to hear about your friend. Always rugged.

Anonymous said...

Exceedingly well crafted. I'm sorry for those that Francis left behind. And I'm still tender from the last mammogram, the stinker.

Anonymous said...

Lou, your dialogue is excellent, very real and vivid. You should explore writing, dare I say, a novel.

Alice said...

Nice piece Lou and more importantly, peace to you.

*just deleted, but I'll post something wildy inappropriate tomorrow*

Love ya,
A

Anonymous said...

Oh I am so sorry for the loss of Francis. Expected but nonetheless still painful.

Wonderful 100 words. I am too chatty to be able to do it I think.

Jennifer said...

Lou,

I'm very sorry for your loss. :( I agree with you on testing and it is pretty interesting that this comes up in your post today since just last night my mom told me that the dr that did her gallbladder sugery is a strong support of breast cancer awareness, since he has lost family and friends to it, so he had my mom have a mamogram b/c she hadn't had one in years... and they found a mass... she hasn't gotten the actual results from the dr yet, but no news is good news, for now.

On a much lighter note, I love your 100 words... I think the next post should con't your story though... I'm always wondering what will happen next. :)

have a great day!!
xoxoxox

Christy said...

Yes, Lou, so sorry!!!!!

Just got my titty squisher.....and no flowers after! Some date...

Ndinombethe said...

So sorry about Francis. I know it doesn't make it much easier but at least he's not suffering any longer!

Ever read "Five People you Meet in heaven" I'm not religious by any stretch of the imagination but it's an excellent book. Let me know. If you haven't I'll send it to you.

And the 100 words - wow! I envy your ability. Will try one day. I find these days since I started blogging that I've been driving along hoping my creative juices will start flowing soon.

Unknown said...

You make 100 words seem to come together effortlessly.

I hope you are able to celebrate Francis' life and all the goodness he brought to it. I'm so sorry for those he left behind. Congratulations to Francis for graduating from this Earth School. May he have a very enjoyable journey to his graduate program.

Unknown said...

I better do this before I get too far behind.

abritdifferent: Siobhan, I'm willing to bet you'd be FANTASTIC at the 100 Word Challenge.

maggie's mind: Thank you. I think Haiku is easier, because there is no word limit. Although I DID blow Velvet's mind once when I did a 100 Word Haiku for the Challenge.

witchypoo: Want me to kiss it and make it better?

thegrandview: You are not the first to suggest that. That notion takes more courage than I have.

Alice: Thank you - love you, too.

kelley: OMG - you would be SO GOOD at the 100 Words.

jennifer: I've been thinking about that. I may do "The Next 100 Words" tomorrow.

christy: I have offered others the magical 'kiss to make it better'. I could do no less for you.

tash: No, I've not read that. Aand yes, DO get those juices flowing. CREATIVE, PEOPLE, CREATIVE juices. Sheesh.

hyphen mama: Thank you. Kind words. I'm sure we'll put a dent in the rum supply up there, in due time. It may seem effortless ....

Anonymous said...

I love what you did with this one.

I'm sorry to hear of your friend.

Anonymous said...

You seem to be having fun with dialogue for the last few challenges. I like it. This one gave me mental images of past and future times. The economy has been taking such a nose dive, I'm wondering how many of us will be able to relate to this dialogue directly...

Sorry to hear about your friend. I've resisted getting my first mammogram. The idea of it is so horrendous, and frankly, I don't get it! With all of the technology, why can't they come up with a more humane way to test for breast cancer?

Christy said...

Hey, Velvet.....if you have the $$$ you can get an MRI, I think, but sometimes you get more false positives??

Or ultrasound....

Thing is, you have to beg AND pay, usually.

I just got the all clear on my girls.....Lou, I think I'll kiss them myself!

Unknown said...

Renee: Thank you ... and Thank you.

Velvet Verbosity: I'm glad you like it. At the suggestion of a reader (Jennifer), the story continues tomorrow. And probably for several days beyond that. In 100 word bites.

Christy: Good for you - and if you need any help, well, you just let me know.

Elizabeth said...

I'm so sorry about Francis. I hope his passing was peaceful.
*hugs*

moneythoughts said...

Not easy losing a good friend. I'm sorry for your loss.

I, as usual, enjoyed your 100 words. I am not saying another word about your ability to write. The comments speak volumes to your ability. All this people can't be wrong with there comments.

I know you live in a small area, I checked it out on the Internet. But isn't there a sketch group or art club that has live models once a week near you? After sketching the human body for a year, you would be surprised how easy it is to draw a landscape with buildings and details. Drawing bodies and faces is great practice. Let Anne sit for a portrait and then she might be willing to peel off a little clothes later.

Anonymous said...

your friend has left, he got his wings and you are left to miss him.

a leaving is sad but you will see him again. until then we will keep you company.

I know I've had my moments in life but when I get out of here I do hope that I will leave behind some people who are sad at my leaving.

chin up Lou, it is fantastic when we've had the opportunity to know someone who leaves us better for having known them.

Queen Goob said...

Lou - that was awesome, I so "saw it"! Makes me want to grab one of those veggie crisper beers and almost share it with my son. LOL

Thanks for your comments, they really made me feel better.

Vikki North said...

So sorry about your friend Lou. Please feel my heart and all my good thoughts coming your way.

Your 100-word challenge is really insightful: A little snapshot of life.

(I get checked annually. My Momma, also, died of Cancer.)
All my love,
Vikki

Anonymous said...

makes me wonder...find what?

Anonymous said...

Love it, these are always a treat to read!

Sorry to hear about Francis :(
Like I said, hope there's loads of Whiskey where he went.
And thanks for the reminder..... :S

Shadow said...

my condolences at the loss of your friend. and some friendly, good advice those tests...

Tara R. said...

`So sorry to hear about your friend.

Loved this challenge. You said so much in only 100 words. Makes me want to know more.

Unknown said...

elizabeth: It was. The buster waited until everybody left (went home to change clothes, or get something to eat, etc.) to check out. But that was typical Francis.

moneythoughts: Thanks, Fred. I'll look into groups in my area. But I know the answer even before I ask her. SWMBO ain't takin' off 'em fer no paintin'.

warriorwoman: Better for having known him? Yeah.

queen goob: You're welcome. And thanks - I'm glad you could 'see' it.

redchair: Thanks, Vikki. And I am SO glad you get your checkups.

nightblog: 'pounding the pavement' to an old guy like me, usually means looking for a job.

nicole: Thank you. I'm glad you like to read them. And you're welcome.

shadow: Thanks. 'Good advice'? I'm just trying to hang on to all of those nice new people I've found out here.

tara r.: I'm glad you liked it. And I know you've read tomorrow's post.

Momisodes said...

Goodness Lou! You are so good at these :) I always love your 100 word challenges. I can't wait to read more about this piece.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your friend Francis. I hope he had a peaceful passing. Very good advice you've shared.

Eve Grey said...

Wow, that really made me want a beer. And I usually don't drink beer.
As for the advice? Done and done. (:

Myst_72 said...

Lou I'm so sorry - I have only just read your post.

I wanted to read your story properly, so checked in and then came back this afternoon.

Thinking of you,

G
xx

Anonymous said...

I love this piece, Lou.

I'm sorry about your friend. ((HUGSTHATIWISHCOULDBEREAL))