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7/11/2008

The Next 100 Words

Jennifer requested that the story from yesterday's 100 Word Challenge continue, so I've decided to try out the notion of continuing the story within that context - 100 words. So the Friday Haiku I had originally thought to do for today will have to wait. I am going to reprint the 100 Words from yesterday, here. So you don't have to link back. And, as it turns out, I am going to finish the whole story, today.

He walked into the cool dark of the corner bar, a refugee from the sapping heat and the Sun.
"What'll ya have?"
"Bud."
"Two Fifty"
He closed his eyes and let the cold beer wash down his throat.
"You out lookin'?"
"Yeah. Been poundin' the pavement for weeks. It's brutal."
"Want another?"
"Yeah."
"Hot out there, huh?"
"Shit ya! 'Specially when you're out in it all day. Last few days I've been in every store, factory and office building within ten blocks of here. I'm done."
"Nah, don't say that. You'll find somethin'. Just keep lookin'. It's a big city."



"Yeah, it's big city, alright. Big and hard."
"Sure, it's hard. Brick and stone, concrete and asphalt, the Sun and the heat - they make it hard. But there's a soft part to the city, too. The people. There's good people here, and they make a difference. That's why I know you'll find somethin'."
"Yeah, from your mouth to God's ear."
He finished his beer.
"Well, I gotta get goin', I guess. I'm not gonna find nuthin' sittin' here."
"Good luck."
"Thanks, man. Thanks."
"Here, have some mints. Big city or no, better not have beer on your breath."
"Yeah. Thanks."


Well, I was going to publish another 100 Words tomorrow, and then another the next day, but then I'd wind this up on Sunday and I don't want to do that because a lot of people don't blog on weekends - at least, my traffic goes WAY down on the weekends. So I'm going to finish the story today - in two more 100 Word sections. Again, without further ado ....

It was as if time had compressed, somehow; like the last couple of hours happened in minutes. Details lost, images blurred, phrases came to him out of sequence, out of context. But one. "Be here Monday", she had said. "Eight thirty, sharp", she had said.
"A job. I've got a job."
He fought back the tightness in his chest. He took a deep breath and let it out slow.
"Damn."
He walked for a while. He really didn't know where he was walking to - he just walked. And then he stopped. He smelled something. Familiar. He looked up. The bar.


He walked into the cool dark of the corner bar; in from the heat, and the Sun.
"Hey, you're back. What'll ya have?"
"Bud."
"Here ya go. On the house."
"Thanks."
"So, did ya find somethin'?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I did."
And he told him; about seeing the sign, about walking in and asking for an application, about how he got an interview right away, about how he seemed to hit it off with the lady in the interview.
"So what did it for ya? How'd ya get the job?"
"You know? I think she liked the smell of my breath."


Have a great weekend. Everybody.

23 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Well done! I love how you tied in that mint. :)

It's good to know that you recovered from your surgery pretty quickly. Did you have one or both done?

maggie's mind said...

Wow, very nicely done!

nicole said...

Makes me smile :)

witchypoo said...

I like it a lot!
I decided to take Sundays off too, and do the Puzzle thingie on Saturday. But then, I'll be on the road all week and don't know when I'll have internet access. Geeze.

Christy said...

You have a real gift for dialogue! I think you'd write a fabulous play....

Actually, I think you just started one....

Shadow said...

thanks for those 400 words. i loved them... and a fab weekend to you too!

Alice said...

Very clever. Have a super weekend!

Jennifer said...

oh Lou!! I feel so honored that you finished the story for me!! :) and that you mentioned me, and linked me!! THANK YOU!!! :)


By the way... I loved the next 200 words!! You did a great job. :) the mint worked out lovely in the story! AND I wouldn't have guessed he was pounding the pavement for a job!! :)

I think you should think about writing a book or something... you know I would definitely buy it!! :)


thanks again!!!

xoxoxoxox

Employee No. 3699 said...

Thnks for the great read. I liked how you tied it together at the end.

Have a great weekend and enjoy the humidity. It should be lovely between the heat and the rain we're expecting!

Toodles~

Tash said...

Goosebumps and tingles on my scalp - you're incredibly talented. Incredibly...

Tara R. said...

Loved that ending! Wonderfully done.

warriorwoman said...

Lou you rock

Hyphen Mama said...

Maybe you could enter your short stories into some writing contests? Wouldn't it be a hoot if you suddenly started making money writing stories?

This one's great.

LceeL said...

elizabeth: I didn't figure out the mint thing until the end.

maggie's mind: Thanks.

nicole: And that makes me happy.

witchypoo: Glad you liked it. Please don't be gone too long. :>(

christy: Maybe ... just maybe.

shadow: Oh, you are MORE than welcome.

alice: thank you, Alice. you, too.

jennifer: Thank you, Jennifer. You're sweet.

employee no. 3699: Thank you. Toodles to you, too.

tash: Why thank you, ma'am.

tara r.: And thank you, too.

warriorwoman: Oh, woman, we could make such wonderful music together.

Allison said...

All I have to say is:

Sweet! :-)

thegrandview said...

Positively terrific. I half wanted him not to get the job so the scenario would continue at a later date.
Well done, you.

warriorwitch said...

Lou, how about on your next 100 word challenge you let us know how he made out in his new job.

just a suggestion, not an expectation. I understand that writers aren't at the beck and call of their readers.

moneythoughts said...

I liked that the mint was a gift and how it came back in the story and was the reason he thought he got the job.

From all the comments I read today and yesterday, I think you have the makings of a loyal readership. Some writers just have an ability to touch people. It is quite evident that you touch a number of people with your writings.

Have a nice weekend.

Sandy C. said...

Oh that was awesome! Reading this I could feel the heaviness and heat you described, and in the end, I could imagine his breath :) I love how it came full circle. Well done! I'm so glad I was able to read it all today :)

Ash said...

Lou,
Nice job - I know it's all been said before but I like how you brought it all full circle. Now that's what community is all about.
Thanks!

Sogeshirtsguy said...

Very impressive Lou. Thanks for giving the joker heads up on the summer tv. I don't watch tv much anymore.

tiff said...

Lou, I really, really enjoyed that and I would have come back on the weekend for more.

Melissa said...

Found you through AM....

These are fabulous! I think I just might give it a try myself.