I bought a Hoe, today.

Well, actually, I bought it yesterday to USE today. We all know how much I enjoy yardwork. So believe me when I tell you that buying that hoe was major. MAJOR.

When I was on the phone with LM, telling her I was at the Hardware and asking her if there was anything she needed, she said, "No. Why are you at the hardware store?"

And I said, "I'm buying a Hoe."

And she said, "Watchu talkin' 'bout, boy?"

And I said, "No. Not that kind of Hoe. Besides, I'd buy me a big city ho' - they don't sound like that."

End of story.

I was watching television in the company of a certain elderly person I know when her favorite TV show came on. (It stars Tom Selleck) It's a show she watches EVERY WEEK. Never misses an episode. As the opening scenes began to roll across the screen, she started into her mantra - "I know I watch this all the time, but I don't remember this one, so far."

Me: "You're not going to tell me you don't remember this one, are you?"

Her: "Well, if I saw it I certainly didn't see this part."

I let it pass without further comment.

a little while later ...

"Oh. I think I remember him doing that."

and a little while later yet ...

"Now I don't remember that part at all."

and yet a little while further on ...

"I think I saw that before."

Me: "Gee. You must be on an emotional roller coaster - 'Oh goody, one I haven't seen before' then 'Oh, no, I remember this part' then 'Oh, but I couldn't have seen THIS before' and then 'Yeah, I remember this part now'."

Her: "Well, I probably wasn't paying attention when it was on the first time."

Me: "Well, I hope you've got it now. This is a good show - but you have to pay attention. There's stuff that goes on over multiple episodes."

Her: "No. Really?"

She does get sarcastic once in a while.

End of story.



Big Mark 243 said...

... and here I thought you decided to take one of Velvet Jones' offerings in 'pimpology'...

Grandmother said...

I certainly recognize the TV show dialogue with me being the "I don't remember it so far." My solution- get rid of the TV. Haven't had one for 4 1/2 years. Don't miss it. I get to do so many more wonderful things with my time- and remember most of them.

Nan Sheppard said...

Yeah, I thought the same thing as LM about you and your ho. I mean Hoe.

That sounds like almost a Margo conversation!

Tara R. said...

It's good to see that your womenfolk are keeping you in line.

Megryansmom said...

Oh Lou! I knew there was something I loved about you. I could just feel it. I HATE YARDWORK TOO! It's what I miss most about my kids not living at home anymore. I actually try to bribe my daughter when she comes to visit by slipping her a $20 to mow the lawn. Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend and know that on the other side of the county I'll be weeding and cleaning flower beds, cussing under my breath.

Talina said...

Now what did you do with you hoe? LOL. We have a hoe too... it gets much use, but that is no surprise huh? LOL.

PattiKen said...

I find it a little scary that this dialogue (the part about the TV show, not the part about the ho or the hoe) is so familiar. Gah.

Indigo said...

I love the sarcasm of the women in your house. I would fit right in! (Hugs)Indigo

Holly said...

A big city ho', heh!