I sat for over an hour trying to put together a response to the 100 Word Challenge, as I usually do on Thursdays. But my mind is occupied with care and concern for a friend.
If I were to tell you she'd had her heart broken, you'd say, "That's too bad" and "Oh, I'm so sorry for her" and you would mean those things - but you wouldn't understand and your responses would be rather perfunctory.
She is a single mom. How she got to be a single mom isn't as important as knowing she had stabilized her life and that of her sons, and she had grown to be independent and capable and thoroughly self sufficient. And loved by a whole bunch of people. A woman of spirit to match her flaming red hair, a woman of emotions that flow deep and strong.
If I told you that at BlogHer last summer, as things were wrapping up and people were leaving, that she hid in her room and cried because she couldn't BEAR to say goodbye to the people she knew and loved, would you begin to understand the depth of feelings that live in this woman?
A man had found his way into her life, recently. She let him in - let down her guard. She was all agog over the feelings in her, and she thought she'd found the man to be stepdad to her boys. In a series of posts, recently, she recounted their communications back and forth, and she let the world know how she had fallen in love. And in a sudden and shattering turn of events, he has told her they can't be together. She is CRUSHED. And every one of us who knows what love is and how it feels can feel the knife wounds in her heart right now.
That's what is on my mind. That's why I can't write my 100 Words today.
My friend is hurting. And so am I.
Truthfully, ndinombethe. As I go, I am wearing you.