A Short (Very Short) Story by
Louis Charles Lohman
"I'm tellin' ye, Padraigh, I sawr it wit' me own eyes, I did."
"Ah, yer daft, man. There's no such t'ing. And why would some bloody monster come round here anyway? Tell me that, would ye?"
"I don't know why he's come, Padraigh, I just know he's here."
"Alright, Sean. He's here, then. What are we supposed to do about it?"
"Run away, ye drunk git! Get out of here while ye can, 'cause there'll be no runnin' once ya hear his step."
"Ahhhh, git on with ye. Bartender!! There's a hole in me bloody glass and all the ale keeps runnin' out of it. You'll have to fill it up again, ye will. And make sure ye fill it all the way, this time."
"Padraigh. Can ya not hear me? Or are ya just bein' thick? You know the old stories as well as I. And you know the truth of 'em, too."
"Aye, Sean, I know the stories. I know all about those old wives tales they've told 'round here for hundreds of years. We ALL do. But just because we all know the stories doesn't make 'em truth. Like as not, yer mother used those stories to keep her youngsters in bed at night, just like my sainted mother did, and everyone else 'round here. They're just scary stories, Sean, meant to frighten children."
"But I'm tellin' ye, Paddy, I've seen it. With me own eyes."
"Right. And if you've seen it, Sean, how is it yer here to tell us about it, eh? How is that? From what I know of the stories, if you see the monster, it's too damn late."
"I was up at the top of the first Ben. By the light of the moon, it was, I could see it down in the valley, movin' between the two Bens, comin' this way."
"At the top of the first Ben, were ye? And ye saw it movin' between the Bens, comin' this way? Well, where is it then? Ye can't have beat it here by much, Sean."
"I'm tellin' ye. I SAWR it. It looked like inky blackness, and its footstep shook the Ben till I was sure it would fall."
"SHOOK it, ye say? Till it might fall? Those mountains have stood since the beginning of time, Sean. Your bloody imagination been runnin' away with ye."
"No, no, no, Padraigh. I'm tellin' ye, I've seen it. I'll not stay and argue this more. You're thick and you're goin' to ruin, Paddy. I've tried to warn ye. You'll not listen. So fine. I'm leavin'. If you've a bit of sense behind those bleary eyes, you'll be out the door right behind me."
"Goodbye and good night, Sean. Go home and get a good night's sleep, then. Me and the boys will all BOOMPH be drinkin' .... what was that?"
"Alright, which one of ye thinks that was funny?"
"Saints preserve us..."