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10/10/2009

She'll be back tomorrow

Sarah is taking one of the two days of this weekend off. I had to do some maintenance on her story - or - at least on the links to her story in the sidebar.

The whole thing - the combination of Sarah and 'The Kid' - now stands at more than 24,000 words. About 38 pages. About 10% of the finished book.

Okay - some random stuff.

When I wrote 'sliced apples', I was listening to 'Tally's Lullaby', by Karen Marie Garrett. I got it from iTunes. I had heard it on XM Radio, on a channel called 'The SPA', where it's all relaxing music. But something about this music speaks to me.

Jientje is coming in about a month. I am desperately hoping I can make her short stay here, in Chicago, memorable.

For months I have been trying to articulate something that has been on my mind - and I haven't been able to find the words because I haven't really been able to define the feeling. But - out of the mouths of babes. I have had this unease about the fact that I am aging - and there was a feeling of a disconnection with all the young and beautiful people out there. But I couldn't quite put my finger on the pulse of this feeling - it was just a bit too vague. I was watching television the other night - don't remember the show - but a young woman said, to a police officer, about an older man in her life, "No, I don't think of him that way. He's OLD."

There. There it was.

It isn't so much that the young see me and those people like me as incapable - it's that you see me as incomplete. And because I am incomplete, I am dismissed. Put away - ready for the shelf.

It is not a pleasant process, aging. It is made all the worse by the dismissive attitudes of the young. And that's what has been on my mind all these months.

I feel better now.

Ndinombethe.

15 comments:

OHmommy said...

That's a lot to have on your mind, Lou. (Hugs)

moneythoughts said...

Get a few girls friends and you wont feel old anymore. I'm telling you it works. :-)

Tara R. said...

I've always been envious of how other cultures treat, or treasure, their elders. Here, once you reach a certain age, we're disposable.

I hope you and Jientje have a wonderful visit. I also hope to see amazing photos from both of you.

MissyBoo said...

Oh you're not old! Just wisened :) Don't worry too much about it...

Jientje said...

There. You said it.
I've seen your struggle. I could read it between the lines sometimes.

As much as I would like to have my young body back, I don't think I'd want to return to the age that goes with that body. I think your whole being is so much more than just a body. Okay, as we age, our body is not what it used to be, but our mind and our soul is. Like a good wine or maybe one of those good rums from your liquor cabinet, it needs maturity.
No man or woman on the face of the earth gets maturity overnight. It takes a lifetime, it takes battling life's challenges, it takes going through deep valleys , it takes steep climbs, it takes a lot of mistakes to create a beautiful mind. I have always been fascinated by your empathy, your lovely comments on other people's blogs is what first drew my attention to you. A beautiful mind is much more attractive.
A perfect body? Hmm, not so much.
The scars on that body talk about the life you've lived, the things you've been through to become a greater soul.
OLD?
That's how you look at it.

ree said...

Aw, Lou. {{hugs}}

My word verification is "crust". Did I ever tell you that the crust is my favorite part of the loaf of bread?

Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba) said...

You? Incomplete? NEVER!

secret agent mama said...

I would never shelve a friend like you, Lou. Never. xo

Hyphen Mama said...

I love what Jientje says. And about the girlfriends... isn't that what your harem is???

Collette said...

Oh Lou, never old. You're only as old as you feel. By my 42 y/o body, I feel like 100 but my mindset is well below!
You writing shows the knowledge & wisdom of a mature individual, not old. Keep up the writing & sharing with all your friends here.

Joyce-Anne said...

Ditto what Jientje said. Also sending ((hugs)).

Heather said...

I could never even picture shelving you, Lou. You are a bright and sunny spot in my day to day world. I mean that, too. Your comments? Sometimes, they are the ONLY thing that gets me through the day. Meeting you was one of the best things that happened to me while in Chicago, and I consider myself blessed.

Big hugs, xo

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

Well, I must be old, too. I can't picture ever shelving you. I fully appreciate the wisdom of your years :)

Nan said...

Say, "It's not a bald head, it's a solar panel for a luuuuurve machine"!

Lou, you're awesome, handsome, manly and I love you.

witchypoo said...

I feel the dismissiveness of the young and I think "You sad puppies" We're smarter and have better insurance. HAH.