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3/10/2009

Drifting

I feel a little lost. I have been so busy and buried with the things that have been going on at work and then Sunday happened. It wasn't me. It wasn't mine. I'm not even a person who outwardly practices a formal religion. But I respect those truly good and kind who do. I respect the truly good and kind who lead others to an understanding of what is good and kind. But I don't practice a religion. Me and my God - we know each other - I don't think I have to go to church on Sunday to let Him know I know He's there. But I am surprise at how this seems to have affected me. It's like the wind is out of my sails .. and I am adrift.

I am so far behind in my blog reading. I get home and open my laptop and it just seems so overwhelming - there's so much and I just can't focus. I start - but I never finish. I just can't seem to get through what I really DO want to do.

I want to ge back to my stories - both of them. I want to get back to my blog reading. My commenting. Things need to settle down a bit - and I need to get my head straight. I guess I'll just have to work through this, whatever it is.

I love you all.

Ndinombethe.

25 comments:

Eric S. said...

I'm right there with you Lou. I have been pretty off for the last week. Working too many hours and all. Last weekend, I could barely navigate the net. Just so scatter brained and lost. Hopefully we both get settled down soon.

Shadow said...

out of the blue, something affects us that we feel shouldn't or couldn't or whatever n't you can think of. but it plays in your mind nonetheless. take some time, take a breather, and let your thoughts roam, unrestricted and unrestrained, and toss all the must's and have to's out the window for a while, and sooner than you know, you'll pull together with a clear mind and spirit... just let go a bit and feel... love and hugs, v

moneythoughts said...

There is a lot of crazy stuff going on out there, and many times it doesn't make any sense. Whether you go to a place to pray or you just live with a respect for your fellow man, the important thing to try and remember is that decent people must speak up to prevail. I'll second everything SHADOW said today.

Patsy said...

We live in an evil world where evil things happen to good people. I pray that you find peace soon. Speak with God, seek his guidance as you get back to the norm. This may be God's way of asking for a little more from you -- maybe it is time to get into a little more formal communication with Him by joining with others in worshipping Him.
Something to think about. :)

Jientje said...

No wonder you're lost. I agree, take a breather, let it go, and most of all, relax and do what you like to do for a change? At least your next Sunday will be yours, right? Good!

calicobebop said...

Sometimes a breather is exactly what the doctor ordered. We're not going anywhere and we look forward to having you back!

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

Just here to echo the other comments...

It effected you and threw you a little off kilter. You will find balance again. When you do, we'll be here.

Joyce-Anne said...

Every now and then I think life throws us unexpected curve balls. You'll get through this, it may take a little time, that's all. You know where to find me, if you need to bend an ear.

Michael said...

Look at me L, I dont even know where I am anymore, dont you just wish "sometimes" that you could just pack up all your stuff and leave for a new life.
I have got this obsession with The Amazon Jungle now, I wanna go live there, maybe its mid life crisis I dunno.
Life seems just so complicated, a series of menial tasks to be endlessly repeated day after day, week in week out.
Whats wrong with me, I too cannot keep my mind on anything

Tara R. said...

Take all the time you need.

Theresa said...

Let go and let God.

NicoleB said...

Stay safe and watch your health my friend!

Hyphen Mama said...

Yep, it's going around. Again, I blame the moon and the alignment of the stars. Add to it all what happened last weekend (I was affected similarly when the Columbine High School tragedy happened and I happened to be nearby that day, in amidst the sirens and police response... it had nothing to do with ME, but the energy surrounding it sapped me and affected my soul).

Now might be the time to give yourself permission to meditate with your music, write if you feel it, but not feel compelled to blog if it doesn't feel right. Nobody is going anywhere.

Cat said...

Lou - work through out the best way you know how and I love you too!!

I think for me the shock of what happened to that priest in church in front of all his loved ones takes time to sink in - because its right in my back yard and yours too - and I cannot fathom what kind of a person would do such a thing and it scares me a bit - unsettles my mind.

I am here for you.

Momisodes said...

I'm sorry, Lou. Please take some time for yourself. I can relate to this feeling you speak of. Seeing my inbox some days can be just too much to handle. Especially on the weekends. So I just ignore it. We all love you out here in blogland, but we definitely want you to be happy and have time for yourself. Especially with work being so busy lately.

Sending you many, many *hugs*

Nan said...

Yikes, I am only just catching up with blogland here... What terrible news. Sometimes it's hard to be creative, when we are shaken up. Love you Lou, be strong.

Loraine said...

I think church has always been more about community and social solidarity than religion. I've seen churches cause a lot of grief and heal a lot of grief. But I am one of those weirdos who likes to be alone, and isn't one to cater to people who expect blind faith. It just won't happen.

I don't like reading a ton when I'm tired, either, and I'm also way behind. This is why my blog consists mostly of pictures most of the time. I hope they entertain you.:)

Allison said...

As for the whole c/Church thing---you know, there's not one specific denomination out in this world because we are all different and we all need different things from our relationship with God. Heck, even in my own household, there's not one specific feeling on the subject. T's very proud of not being an official member of our church, where as for me and my relationship with God, I needed it and am embracing it. He's going along because...well, because he loves me, I think he sees I need it, and he's in a different place where he's completely comfortable to allow me to just be me. Which is the best thing I think I've got going in my guy. All that to say: we all get out of the church what we need to grow and learn.

As for the rest: I agree that it might be one of the things "going around". Not sure what it is, but I think a lot of us have felt restless for one reason or another. Maybe it's just beginning of the year blahs, the economy, the transition in president, the discord in the country because of a lot of things including what I've already listed---I don't know. But I do know it will work itself out, and we all need to work on taking care of ourselves and our family.

My love's always with you :-)

Take care. Also...if reading blogs gets overwhelming---I'm loving using a blogreader. Puts all the blogs I want to read in one place. The blogs I HAVE to read daily, that are the most important and that I'm a constant (if not always vocal) reader of, they are in a special folder/heading, and then I've got others listed according to what I'm looking for in them, or why I looked at them to begin with---crochet, knitting, food, Mom blogs, etc. That way, I can go, look at my list and say, hmm...I've got to read the Daily blogs, and then I'll pick and choose the rest :-)

I use Bloglines :-D

Zoeyjane said...

It happens. Allow yourself some time to recover. To decompress and regain your voice and attention. If need be, you hit 'mark all as read' and you start again fresh. Peace.

LceeL said...

To all: It's 10:30 pm on Tuesday and I am in the middle of database issues and busier than a one-nutted goat in mating season. So, where I would normally answer each and every one of your comments with an individual reply, this evening I am focused on getting the database back online so 400 people can work tomorrow. Thank you - ALL of you - for being so very, very kind and very, very supportive. THIS is why I love you all as much as I do.

witchypoo said...

My reader has me so overwhelmed I'm contemplating "mark all as read"
I'm barely putting up one crappy post a week.

Myst_72 said...

I love you too Lou.

I hope you get things sorted soon,
thinking of you,

G
xx

Ree said...

Love you too, my friend.

XXOO

Karen said...

this is exactly how I feel, too. I have good intentions, but as soon as I sit down at the computer each morning, those intentions just flutter away and leave me sitting here drooling in my coffee, wondering how in the heck I am going to EVER get caught up.

Indigo said...

(Holds out a hand) I'm here dear friend. Do what you need to do to settle yourself and sort through things.

I've never been one for organized religion myself. However at times I burn sage and whisper my grievances and prayers into the smoke. The smoke entwines with the wind and goes where it may. To me those prayers and grievances will be carried forth and whispered in the ears of those who are meant to hear. It's cleansing in it's own way...

Your compassion and beauty still thrives within you dear friend, look inward and tap into it. (Hugs)Indigo