Tuesday Tale - PUFF

Edit UPDATE: Those of you who have people in Iraq may want to skip this post. I'm just sayin'. It is descriptive of a combat situation.

The following is, as best as I can remember, absolutely true.

"What's that?"

"It's a C-47. A Gooney Bird."

"How the hell do you know that? There's no way to tell - you can't SEE anything."

"I know the sound of that plane. I've heard those engines all my life. I'm telling you, that's a C-47."

"Okay, okay. What the hell is it doing here? It can't land, they aren't gonna drop guys in here, are they? In this fucking DARK? They can't see either!!"

"I don't know. That's like the third time he's gone around, though. He's orbiting - maybe he's trying to figure out how many VC are out there."

"Fuck! I can tell you that!! There's hundreds of 'em."

"Keep your voice down, dickhead! We're supposed to be watchin' this flank - not yakkin'."

"Yeah, yeah. It's the guys on the other side of the road that keep gettin' hit. Not us."

"Yeah, I know. I wonder what the fuck they're waitin' for."

"What was that?"

"I dunno - there was a flash behind those trees out there - then that thump."

WHAM.

"MORTARS!!! FUCK. WHAT DO WE DO??????"

"Keep your fuckin' head down, asshole. There's nothin' TO do."

WHAM.

"That one was close!!! Closer than the other one."

"Yeah - fuck, let's get out of this hole!!"

"Yeah, let's GO!"

"Over there, by the command post! Go, GO!!"

WHAM.

"Man, you were RIGHT!! That was right in our hole!!!"

"Jeez, I know. C'mon - back in the hole. It's the safest place, now."

"Okay. Shit, it's HOT in here."

"Listen. The Gooney Bird back."

"Yeah, I wonder what he's WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??!!!???"

"I don't KNOW!!! I've never seen anything like that before."

"That had to come from that plane!!! What the fuck WAS that???"

"I don't have any fucking idea - but whatever it was hit behind those trees. Like a fuckin' RAY gun. And did you hear it? Like a big fucking buzzer. Like a door buzzer ... and the mortars stopped."

"Hey, yeah, they did stop. I wonder if the plane did that?"

"Must have been. Sure as fuck wasn't US."

"Hey - look up that way - green tracers - goin' UP!"

"That's Chi Com 50 caliber - they're shootin' at the plane!!!"

"HOLY FUCK -DID YOU SEE THAT??? That red ray gun again!!! That buzzer sound!!!"

"Yeah, and that Chinese 50 ain't shootin' no more."

"Wow, man, what the fuck was that?"

What that was was our introduction to PUFF the Magic Dragon, an old C-47 with a 7.62mm Gatling gun mounted to shoot 7000 rounds per minute out the door of the plane. The 'red ray gun' effect was from every 5th round being a tracer. The 'buzzer' was the sound that 7000 rpm makes. It was absolutely devastating to whatever was on the ground that it struck. There is no doubt in my mind that the only reason I can tell this story is because of that plane. We were surrounded. By over a thousand VC. There were about two hundred of us.

Plus PUFF.

The odds were on our side.