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7/29/2008

David's Past Lives - Part 9

Past Lives is a Meme which features installments from bloggers around the world writing creative stories about past lives, even possibly their own past lives!

Our story starts with a fictional Australian called David. As a last ditch effort trying to resolve his debilitating phobias, he goes through Past Life Regression (PLR) therapy. Join us as we follow David’s experiences through different times and continents.

If you are just joining us, please read Part 1 of the story and follow the links at the end of each segment to learn David's progress so far. Please note that you will be traveling to different blogs as each author adds to the evolution of David's journey. (Our links are listed on the left side of this blog)

Hey, you’re hurting me. Oh. My head! I’m dizzy. I can’t hear a sound and funny enough I can still hear myself think. It’s so hot. This water running down the back of my head seems boiled. It’s going to burn me. If only I could remove it with my hand. It’s thick burning water. Oh no! It’s blood and there’s Clara..

A week later and I was back in Dr. Harlowe's office. I was troubled in that I didn't think we'd found anything that worked to lessen my current issues. I said so to Dr. Harlowe.

"David, our fears and phobias are often built of tiny pieces. They don't come to us whole, in one fell swoop, but rather, they grow on us as we go from life to life until finally, they manifest themselves. And the only way to understand these issues is to go back and find each piece until we have a whole picture. Like a jigsaw puzzle. The individual pieces don't make sense until they are all fitted together."

The doctor turned down the lights and turned on the recording equipment.

"David, let's get ready."

I closed my eyes and found myself drifting, drifting ... drifting .. Dr Harlowe's voice coming from farther and farther away ... "David? ... D a v i d ? ... w h e r e a r e y o u?"

"I don't know. It's so dark. I .. I'm having trouble ... this mind ... so hard to grasp ... it seems scattered ... nothing I can grab onto ..."

"Don't lose me, David ... stay with my voice ... look around, David ... see if you can identify anything ... David? ... look around ..."

"I'm in ... an alley ... there's a ... large building ... it's so dark ... a warehouse ... wait ... there's a sign ... over the dock ... somehow ... I .. I know this place."

"Can you read the sign, David?"

"Yes ... There's a bulb ... over the sign ... but the top is crooked ... it shades part of the sign ... I did that ... make a shadow ... so I can hide ..."

"Why are you hiding, David?"

"I ... I don't know .. I can't hold on to ... this guy ..."

"Okay, David .. David ... read the sign, David."

"It's painted .. there's a big red heart on one side ... it says ...
Simon's Fine Cheeses ...
Goat Cheeses Our Specialty ... Look for the Red, Heart-Shaped container ...
Because "Our heart Is Good For Yours" ... FRontier 5-1000"

"Okay, David, go deeper .. grab on .."

"Not David ... Call me Kid. That's me, see? The Kid."

The Kid was waiting. Waiting in the darkened alley. Waiting for his next kill.
It was still hot from heat of the day, in that alley. And he had to keep to the shadows. The shadows he had created when he tilted the shade over the bulb. He did not want to be seen before he was ready to be seen.

He caught a slight movement out of the corner of his eye. He crouched down and swung his gun in that direction.

"Oh, hello Mister Rat. What're you doin' here, huh? Ya know, yer lucky, you are, Mister Rat. 'Cause if I didn't have to be real quiet, 'cause, you know, I gotta job to do here, I'd tap ya. Yeah, I'd tap ya, right between those beady little eyes. 'Cause I don't like rats, see? No kinda rats. Not rat rats. Not people rats. An' what I don't like don't live too long, see?"

The rat didn't move. He just stared at The Kid and wiggled his whiskers.

"Go on. Shoo. Get otta here. I got work to do, see? I don't need no audience. Sully's gonna be walkin' down this alley real soon now and I gotta put a couple in 'im, see? 'Cause the Boss says he's a rat ... yeah .. just like you. A Rat. Boss even gave me this gun to use - poked me in the ribs with it - shit that hurt. I'm gonna pay him back one of these days ... that hurt. He said Sully's been sayin' bad things about me. Says I'm bringin' the cops down on us. I ain't afraid of no cops. These Las Vegas cops are stupid. We own most of 'em anyway."

"Look rat, you better shoo, or you won't live thru '52. Heh, heh, heh, heh. D'you hear that? That rhymed. I'm a poet and don't know it. Damn, Sully, where the hell are you? I gotta pee. 20 years old and I got the bladder of an old man. I gotta quit drinkin' coffee."

He heard a footstep. He saw that a dark shape had entered the alley. He heard each footstep clearly. Every sense was on edge. He waited until Sully walked into the light. He stepped out of the shadows.

"Hey! Sully. G'nite." BAM BAM BAM.
Sully stood there.
"What the ..." BAM BAM BAM click click
Sully stood there, reached into his windbreaker and pulled out a nasty looking .45.
"Say goodbye, Kid." BLAM BLAM
The Kid felt the rounds slam into his chest. He sank to his knees as Sully slowly walked toward him.
"You were shootin' blanks, Kid. The Boss loaded that gun with blanks." Sully's voice was getting distant. There was a rushing sound, like a distant thunder in his ears.
The Kid looked down and saw blood bubbling out of two holes in his chest.
"You screwed up Kid. You brought the cops down on us. You're a liability, the Boss says. Take care of him, the Boss says. I always do what the Boss says. It's healthier that way."
The Kid looked at Sully. His lips moved, but no sound came out. He was having a hard time breathing. His head felt heavy and his vision was turning red.
"Why? You want to know 'Why'? Ya know, we coulda sent you to Chicago 'til the heat's off. If you was anybody else, we pro'bly would have. But not you. Because you're NUTS! You're a raving friggin' lunatic and the Boss says he can't trust ya. Just that simple."
The rushing sound in his ears, in his head, grew louder.
"G'bye, Kid. You coulda been a good one. But you're nuts. Just nuts."
Sully turned and started to walk away.
The Kid fell over on his side. Sully whirled around, gun finding it's target. But he saw no danger. The Kid was on his way out. He slowly walked away.

The Kid saw the rat moving toward him. He rolled onto his back. And the little rat thought in his little rat mind, "Go to hell."
The last thing The Kid felt was the whiskers in his ear and a nibble .....
And everything faded to black.... there was a moment of crystal clarity ... of sanity ... a moment in which he knew he had screwed it all up .. his life had gone completely wrong ... he wondered what was gonna happen next ...

.......... David’s next PLR Session will be online shortly. You’ll be traveling to Eric Schwee's Ruminations of a Small Town Mountain Boy. Part 10 will happen there.


Note: David's PLR story is purely fictional. If there are any bloggers in any part of the world who would like to participate in David's story by writing about a 'past life' in a time, place and country you are familiar with, please contact Lilly at lillyslife@gmail.com.

You will not believe how much fun it is writing these things. I absolutely LOVE writing dialog. Oh, scene setting is fun, but dialog is what I really love. I think I may have missed something along the way. Or maybe I'm just finding it. I don't know. I just know I love doing this.

One last piece of business. As you know (you DO know, don't you?) Grannie lives with us. 82 years old and provides more comedy than anyone her age really ought to. She's worse than Harry Caray used to be with the names of baseball players. Except that she does it to golfers, too. Except Tiger. Grannie LOVES Tiger. I think she would gladly have his children. Anyway, as it turns out lately, there's one thing about Grannie. Let's put it this way. If I EVER get to the point where every step I take sounds like somebody stepping on a whoopee cushion, just shoot me or light up my ass with a flamethrower. I'm just sayin'.

19 comments:

Eric S. said...

Now that was an interesting character, a little schitzophrenic. I loved the dialog, it shows that you love to write it. I find that to be harder than other portions writing. I love how you used the gang slang.

Your scene setting was so clear in my head as I read it, I felt like a hidden observer.

Oh but this journey is so much fun. I have mine done except the final paragraph. I just hope it's up to par with everybody else.

warriorwoman said...

Lou, that was a good read. It was excellent writing, you had my attention right to the end.

It felt real, it was captivating, you can really write. Well done.
I loved reading it.

And Grannie has some talent eh?
Go Grannie.

Tash said...

Wow Lou! I'm running out of words to describe how very much I enjoy reading your work. Brilliant piece, amazing scene setting, riveting dialogue! (yeah that's how I spell dialogue - the after effects of British colonialism)

Oh grannie - does she know you've just outed her like that?

Absolutely love Chapin's Cat's in the Cradle - was my number 5 on my list over at Adrian's blog, and in my first draft of mine then remember how my local lads make me feel with their ditty.

redchair said...

Hi Lou,
Fantastic story! Post much anticipation, you didn’t let us down for even a second. Your story was terrific.

Riveting description of that dark dirty alley puts us on the edge of our seats. You really tapped into the reality of a pretty sad and frightening element of life. You wrote Kid true to form describing what goes through a young psychotics mind and his views and justification for worst form of criminal activity.

Excellent surprise ending- ‘Live by the sword. Die by the sword.’
Great job Lou,

Vikki

Hyphen Mama said...

Your stories are so perfectly easy on your reader, leaving no guesswork. I fully appreciate the clean, concise images you create in my mind's eye.

I'll miss David when he's all cured.

Mike said...

No kidding you like writing dialogue!! You are exceptional at it. I must say, I cringed on the whiskers and nibble bit. It's the sign of great writing. Bravo.

Sandy C. said...

Best piece yet, Lou. Hands down. You had me from beginning to end. The darkness, the gunshots, the whiskers....chills down my spine. Well done :)

I hope you get to do this again!

Employee No. 3699 said...

Again, wonderful. I felt like I was right there in the shadows waiting for Sully with him.

neutron said...

I'm with sandy, definitely the best thus far.

moneythoughts said...

Well done. Yes, I cringed when the rat nibbled.

maggie's mind said...

Wow, this was incredible. I love the dialogue and everything else about it. Really nicely done.

Grannie. :)

Lilly's Life said...

Lou, that was awesome! Truly fabulous writing and storyline. Poor Kid, so crazy, so troubled and so dead. As for the Rat, it will be interesting to see if this 'character' is picked up in future stories. The whiskers in his ear and a nibble...oh that paints a picture...I love gangster stories and it is apparent you LOVE writing dialogue because you make it flow so easily. The concept evolves as we go along and who knows perhaps it will encourage people to do more 'story telling'. Why don't you start a series on your blog, one a week or something. A book, screenplay perhaps? I am sure readers would come back for more! I know I would! Congratulations!!

Old Knudsen said...

I had a past life in which I was no one interesting and didn't do anything of note maybe I should write about that.

Nay I'll write about how I was Cleopatra instead.

LceeL said...

EVERYONE: I am in so much pain today. I fell yesterday and injured my ribs and the muscles on the right side of my chest. I am going to go to the Doctor's office in just a little while. But I have just had the best shot of pain reliever I could possibly have. You guys have made my day.

Alice said...

Dude - my MIL is ALWAYS farting without acknowledgement. I look at my husband and give him the WTF look.

Is she not hearing it? Not feeling it? Dammit, say 'Excuse me.'

And I hope you're feeling OK - what happened?!?

witchypoo said...

Riveting!
Let me pour you a glass of pain meds for your injuries.
Hope all turns out well.
I'm beginning to turn into Grannie myself.

queenlint1 said...

Lou,

Great addition to the story! And I loved the extra piece leading up to it with the Boss.

Having lived in Las Vegas with the VP of the company I worked for looking very much like your character was a fun read!

Good writing!
Blessings,
Dina

tashabud said...

Hi Lou,
It's only now that I was able to make it to your story. Your story is absolutely captivating from beginning to end. Like all the others, I was completely riveted. And yes, the dialogue is excellent. You really nailed the Kid's character and the voice right to the T. I probably didn't say this right, but, oh well. This is an exceptional writing. You should write a book.

Oh, by the way, I found this part of your story very funny. "Look rat, you better shoo, or you won't live thru '52. Heh, heh, heh, heh. D'you hear that? That rhymed. I'm a poet and don't know it. Damn, Sully, where the hell are you? I gotta pee. 20 years old and I got the bladder of an old man. I gotta quit drinkin' coffee."

Have a great day.

soulMerlin said...

Hello Lou ~ I read this a few days ago, when I was trying to get my episode together and I had little time, so I delayed making comments until the heat was off, so to speak.

Naturally, all the comments before are right, it's a great read...

I especially like:

And the little rat thought in his little rat mind, "Go to hell."

thanks

henry

(see, I think the little rat is Harlowe...but I'm odd) :)