tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post4805522018458200731..comments2023-10-29T07:24:49.468-05:00Comments on LouCeeL: The Killing of Robert Perry - ReduxAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13024392628362568010noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-92066579549107261862011-05-27T09:35:28.944-05:002011-05-27T09:35:28.944-05:00I recall the first version, of course. In fact, I ...I recall the first version, of course. In fact, I thought I was rereading that for a few seconds and then saw where you were going. I like the development here!Unspokenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16065870952905767595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-38796251172442592732011-05-27T02:29:43.276-05:002011-05-27T02:29:43.276-05:00I didn't read the first version, but me likey ...I didn't read the first version, but me likey this one!Expat No. 3699https://www.blogger.com/profile/13023652840187420920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-1905578904687747132011-05-26T03:44:09.484-05:002011-05-26T03:44:09.484-05:00I struggle with dialogue too. Best to read it alou...I struggle with dialogue too. Best to read it aloud I'm told. Definitely better.Bainohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156193098088048637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-3520363629955647932011-05-25T22:38:45.840-05:002011-05-25T22:38:45.840-05:00Very nice with the changes. I actually enjoyed th...Very nice with the changes. I actually enjoyed the first version. The tweaks made here let me know that you have the ability to make a good piece great.Not For Jellyfishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08168569867944572358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-89230981342809400122011-05-25T22:31:11.971-05:002011-05-25T22:31:11.971-05:00nice...i like this version better...well tuned...nice...i like this version better...well tuned...Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-19908550468136042752011-05-24T23:28:00.099-05:002011-05-24T23:28:00.099-05:00Good job. It feels more realistic, and you've ...Good job. It feels more realistic, and you've managed to step up the pace, and give it more edge.PattiKenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-91542993328892926632011-05-24T23:14:05.915-05:002011-05-24T23:14:05.915-05:00Nice.
There's noticeable improvement, particu...Nice.<br /><br />There's noticeable improvement, particularly in the first portion. Probably too few changes in the middle (although the subtle alterations in dialog generally work well), and the large chunks of dialog in the end could still use some breaking up.<br /><br />All that said, many kudos. Rewriting can be a pain, but it's usually well worth it.JeffScapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00190641629175438603noreply@blogger.com