tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post413118728133311808..comments2023-10-29T07:24:49.468-05:00Comments on LouCeeL: 100 Word Challenge - RequiredAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13024392628362568010noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-56138138526321361042013-06-25T13:29:04.262-05:002013-06-25T13:29:04.262-05:00Indeed, as others have said, powerful. I also like...Indeed, as others have said, powerful. I also liked David's suggestions about trying for more show than tell. Not sure how that would be accomplished for this particular piece. <br /><br />Sad, though, the thought of young men losing their innocence in battle in a way that can never be recovered.Velvet Verbosityhttp://www.velvetverbosity.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-36379330184222509272013-06-23T15:48:55.725-05:002013-06-23T15:48:55.725-05:00I liked this. I felt, however, that the point of t...I liked this. I felt, however, that the point of the piece was spelled out explicitly for the reader instead of having the reader come to it organically. The idea that the Marine has 'grown up' loses some weight by merely being asserted by the character, rather than shown by his actions (i.e., 'show me, don't tell me'). Which, admittedly, is a hard thing to do in only a hundred words. but it's something to think about.Agincourtdbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00727155620856112847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-87194816379350353452013-06-23T15:39:06.325-05:002013-06-23T15:39:06.325-05:00very powerful, can't even imagine what it woul...very powerful, can't even imagine what it would be like to be in this situation. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13318991328136593536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-76889724618795539492013-06-22T11:15:04.919-05:002013-06-22T11:15:04.919-05:00I look back at the pictures of the "kids"...I look back at the pictures of the "kids" I grew up with - who went off to war as kids, but who came home as "shell-shocked" men. Well done, Lou - and thank you. I am sorry you had to grow up that way, too,barbarahttp://purplemoose.kenaiwriter.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-7065145431194634852013-06-20T17:41:29.845-05:002013-06-20T17:41:29.845-05:00These break my heart every time, knowing that a pa...These break my heart every time, knowing that a part of you is in each one.Tara R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02993625193184914299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-53419267979848695172013-06-20T09:37:55.368-05:002013-06-20T09:37:55.368-05:00Good one, Lou.Good one, Lou.PattiKenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02894925987580502697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5969775012135767870.post-58874203400410506522013-06-20T00:42:20.625-05:002013-06-20T00:42:20.625-05:00Wow, just...wow. This is so beautifully written. H...Wow, just...wow. This is so beautifully written. Hits close to home in a way I'm not in the military, but so many of my loved ones are. I always enjoy reading your work.Britthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06317899302536050390noreply@blogger.com